


One-shots

by rAtAt



Category: Fairy Tail, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Aged up characters, Any ship counts, Canon ships?, Crushes, Disturbing ships, Don't care lol, F/F, F/F/M, F/M, Gen, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Mayhaps, Multi, Natsu hears END's voice in his head, No Smut, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Sad Kirishima, Sad Lucy, Toxic Relationship, Unrequited Love, also it actually doesn't need to be romantic, angst endings, angst with happy endings, crack ships, ffs the title gives it ALL away :D, i think, i'm very open-minded, it's all here my dudes, jirou and shouto rivalry, m/m/f, pretend dating, sad Uraraka, sad camie, sad natsu, well not all the way ;), with more to come :)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:39:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26035045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rAtAt/pseuds/rAtAt
Summary: I'm going to try to do every ship (crack, canon, everything)This is a pretty cliche idea-and I'm no good at short stories-but it's a fun idea, nonetheless.So here I am :)
Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou, Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, END (Etherious Natsu Dragneel)/Lucy Heartfilia, Jirou Kyouka/Todoroki Shouto, Jirou Kyouka/Todoroki Shouto/Yaoyorozu Momo, Jirou Kyouka/Yaoyorozu Momo, Kirishima Eijirou/Uraraka Ochako, Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto, Midoriya Izuku/Uraraka Ochako, Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia, Todoroki Shouto/Utsushimi Camie (one-sided), Todoroki Shouto/Yaoyorozu Momo, Utsushimi Camie/Yoarashi Inasa, all and ANY pairing
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	1. Jirou/Todoroki/Momo

Momo’s skin was getting paler as seconds passed by. She didn’t move a muscle, and Shouto wasn’t even sure whether she was breathing, as she lay on the stretcher.

She’d been shopping-she was on shopping duty that day-and she’d found herself all alone, and Kirishima unconscious in another aisle. She’d fought to the best of her ability but had been completely outnumbered.

Kirishima’s hardening quirk had saved him from most physical attacks-but hardening couldn’t save you from drugs that knock you out, could it?-but as worried for him as Shouto was, Momo’s injuries  _ terrified  _ him in a way no one else’s ever had.

He wasn’t allowed to sulk outside the infirmary forever, since he still had to go to classes.

So, instead, he sulked in class.

* * *

“Todoroki.” lida’s voice brought him out of his depressing thoughts. “May I say, I understand your concern for our classmate, everyone does. But you and Jirou have been almost inconsolable for a week now. You are falling behind in studies, so I would like to advise that you focus on school. I am certain that Recovery girl will make sure Yaoyorozu is okay.”

He finished with his speech and strange hand motions. Now, Shouto may have not been very accepting and friendly when he came here, but even then he had never been outright  _ rude.  _ However, at that moment, he didn’t hear anything.

His brain did zero in on the fact that lida called Momo by her first name, sparking an emotion in his chest that he couldn’t name.

“Jirou?’ He had meant to assure lida that he would take his advice, but it had popped out of his mouth. His body took no consent from his brain. 

“Ah yes,” lida furrowed his eyebrows, distracted. “Jirou has been almost as bad as you,”

Todoroki followed lida’s gaze to the said girl. Her gaze was on Momo’s empty table. The look in her eyes wasn’t something he could name but it was unmistakably familiar.

He felt the same spark of petty resentment in his chest, but it stung harder this time.

“I will think about your words.” He turned back to lida, uncomfortable with these emotions that he was feeling.

\----------------

Yaoyorozu sighed in relief when she heard the words from Recovery girl’s mouth.

She’d been waiting to be released for one and a half week now. She’d woken up three days after her attack, and since then, she’d been feeling restless.

Just thinking about everything she’d missed in class made her wince, not to mention how she’d disregarded her vice rep duties. And what about her friends? They would surely be worried!

“Here. This’ll make you feel better and more refreshed.” Recovery girl held out her palm, which had a circular-shaped candy in it.

Gratefully, Yaoyorozu took one. “I appreciate your thoughtfulness, Recovery girl,”

Recovery girl gave her a smile and encouraged her to leave.

She wasn’t expecting her classmates to be there. They'd been waiting right outside the infirmary. 

“Mr All Might told us you were going to be released today!’ Mina exclaimed, joyfully punching her fist in the air.

“He’s still a blabbermouth?’ she smiled fondly.

“Ah, I’m hurt, Young Momo.” All Might said from behind his students.

Yaoyorozu flushed when she realised he was there when she’d called him a ‘blabbermouth’. 

“I apologise for my rudeness, I did-”

“I was kidding!’ All might cried awkwardly. 

Yaoyorozu smiled brightly. Everyone mobbed her, all excited to see her doing fine. Everyone was talking at once and even though she couldn't make out what they were saying, she was still very glad they were here.

However, they all parted for two of her classmates.

Todoroki. Her heart fluttered, as light as the wind. She didn’t enjoy hurting him, but her traitorous heart was happy he was worried about her and cared. 

The other was Jirou. She wasn’t sure why her mouth was dry and why the air was so tense for the three of them, but all she knew was she’d hurt these two the most with her absence.

Of course, neither would blame her.

Jirou reached for her first, her eyes glassy with tears. Yaoyorozu’s own eyes widened, she felt breathless. Had she made Jirou cry? But, she wasn’t that important, and it wasn’t life-threatening.

Jirou reached around and wrapped her arms around Yaoyorozu. She could feel Jirou tugging at her waist, and felt warmth in her heart at the other girl’s affection.

“Oh, Jirou, I’m so sorry.” She soothed.

“Don’t be sorry!’ the raven-haired girl choked, “you can-you can call me Kyoka...if you like.”

She felt someone else invade their embrace. Very subtly, she could feel Todoroki push Kyoka to the side. Her heart was racing.

_ her crush was hugging her. _

She took a breath quietly to compose herself. She missed the looks the two sent each other.

\-----------

Kyoka felt her eyebrow twitch in annoyance. She could feel Todoroki’s gaze on her, his steely eyes boring into hers.

Oh, she knew what she’d done to cause envy, too. Yaoyorozu let her call her by her first name and even called her Kyoka and Todoroki was extremely jealous because he wanted the same, but  _ he couldn’t seem to let Momo know. _

After that near-death experience, where they both thought they’d lost Yaoyorozu, they’d come to terms with the fact that they were in love with the girl. That they’d been in denial all this time, even though it felt more obvious now than ever. And that they’d figured it out at the same time.

He was pretty straight-forward, but ever since he’d figured out that his feelings for Yaoyorozu weren’t just friendship, or familial, but romantic, he’d been very shy around the beautiful girl.

Which worked to Kyoka’s advantage. Kyoka wasn’t sure if she even stood a chance, but she was a hero so she would try even if she didn’t. It’s not that she didn’t see Yaoyorozu moon over Todoroki, it’s that Yaoyorozu was more lenient on her, and just opened up more around herself. Even if Yaoyorozu was leading her on, which would definitely be unintentional. The girl was too nice to do that for fun.

Still, Kyoka would take what she could get before Yaoyorozu and Todoroki got together.

A yelp brought her out of her thoughts. Yaoyorozu was reaching for a ruler, which was lying near her table. Except Yaoyorozu was sitting two seats away from her, and Todoroki was next to her, and it had landed somewhat diagonally in-between.

She looked up to meet Todoroki’s gaze head-on. She could see the challenge in those bi-coloured eyes. She felt herself smirk in a way she’d never really done before, a weird kind of confidence surging through her. 

Even Todoroki’s mouth lifted, though she’d never before seen him smile.

It’s not that he  _ never  _ did, but never for her.

It made her feel important and that was a pathetic feeling that she squashed. Her earphone jacks shot faster than ever for the ruler. A wall of ice blocked it.

The ruler clattered farther away from her, towards Todoroki. The noise and sudden change in temperature gathered everyone’s attention.

“Todoroki! Jirou! Please refrain from using your quirks in class.”

“I was just going to pick up the ruler,” she gritted out. 

“I can do that, it’s closer to me,” Todoroki replied, coldly.

“Um, it’s fine. I can-I can do it myself,” Yaoyorozu interrupted shyly. She hastily shuffled towards the ruler.

“No, no. I  _ can.”  _ Todoroki insisted. The two reached for the ruler at the same time, their hands bumping into each other. Almost instantly, Yaoyorozu’s face turned red.

“Whoa, Todoroki’s blushing!’ Kaminari hollered. Kyoka looked closer and saw he  _ was. _

She was jealous, but a subconscious thought flitted into her mind. 

_ He looks cute when blushing. _

She jabbed Kaminari, who was wolf-whistling, mostly to distract herself from stupid thoughts like that.

“What did I even do?!’ Kaminari exclaimed, offended.

“You’re too loud.”

Yaoyorozu quickly picked up the ruler and rushed back to her desk, unable to hide her red ears. 

Todoroki’s eyes drifted to her, and he gave her a look that clearly meant ‘todoroki 1, jirou 0.’

_ WELL, I’ll show you,  _ she thought.

* * *

Yaoyorozu sighed in exasperation when she saw Shouto-she still blushed at calling him that, even in her mind.  _ ugh stupid crush- _ and kyoka-that felt inexpicably natural on her tongue, but she loved the way it rolled off of her tongue-shoving and pushing each other in the cafeteria line.

“I wonder what sparked their rivalry,” Uraraka chuckled. “It was kind of unexpected. Shouto took his focus completely off Bakugo or even Deku.” 

Yaoyorozu felt her heart twist at the familiarity with which Uraraka called Shouto by his first name.

She was far too possessive of someone who was not even hers.

Truthfully, she thought it was more likely that Kyoka and Shouto would get together, considering the amount of time they’d been spending together.

The thought hurt so much she couldn’t take another bite of her food, her appetite ruined. But she wasn’t  _ jealous _ of Kyoka-or ridiculously, of Shouto, either-it just...made her feel excluded and sad.

Her conflicted and odd feelings were far too confusing, so she stuffed them down.

\---------

Shouto supposed he should be annoyed that Ky-Jirou kept getting in his way of ‘wooing’ Yaoyorozu, but it was sort of fun.

Which was a weird thought in itself, but he couldn’t explain how amusing Jirou was when they were fighting or arguing or anything.

He almost liked spending time with her as much as with Yaoyorozu, which made no sense since he  _ knew  _ for a fact that he was in love with her.

His rivalry with Midoriya and Bakugo was one of mutual respect and one where he pushed his limits, but it was tense and this little rivalry with Jirou felt like a break.

He let his thoughts drift away, and came back to reality. He saw several people crowded around Kaminari’s desk, the most eccentric being Mina.

“What’s everyone talking about?’ he asked softly. 

Everyone jumped at his voice.

“N-n-nothing!’ Sero stammered, flustered. Shouto narrowed his eyes at the tape-elbowed teen.

“We’re betting on when you and Yaomomo will get together,” Mina beamed at him. The pink-skinned girl had almost too much energy, but she was likable. Sero and Kaminari elbowed the girl, whispering something furiously into her ear. She pouted and playfully threw some acid at them. It wasn’t harmful to them.

“Ah,” he said, unbothered, although the thought of him and Yaoyorozu dating was very pleasant.

“Yeah, although Kirishima thinks you don’t like each other at all. Him and lida think we shouldn’t butt in, but Kiri’s still betting on you guys not getting together at all. For some reason, Kyoka’s also betting on that.” Mina said, thoughtfully, “it’s probably because y’all’s weird rivalry.”

“Oh, has she now?’ he asked, narrowing his bi-coloured eyes to slits.

“Ah, so you heard.” K-Jirou’s voice called from her desk, which was next to Kaminari’s. “Mina can’t keep secrets.”

Mina pouted. “I can.” she grumbled.

“It actually makes a lot of sense. Todoroki’s, like, handsome on a godly level, not gonna lie. There’s definitely a lot of girls-even juniors-who’re in love with him. Yaomomo doesn’t really…” Toru pointed out to get Kirishima and Jirou's point across.

“What’s the highest bet for all those who say I’ll get together with Yaoyorozu?’

he asked at the same time as Sero who said,

“if it makes you uncomfortable, we’ll stop right now, though,”

Everyone hid their surprise at his question. Jirou crossed her arms over her chest, and even though Shouto didn’t want to, his eyes followed the movement.

“1000 yen,” she said. “2000 yen that you won’t get together.” she gloated, proudly.

“5000 yen,” he muttered. Everyone glanced at him, surprised. “that we will get together.”

Noise broke out around him, everyone whispering. Or, yelling-Mina, Kaminari and Toru.

“So, you’re saying, you like Yaomomo?’

“6000 yen saying you won’t,” Jirou said, strained, quickly interrupting whatever he was going to say.

“10, 000.” he said, his voice deeper than normal.

“15, 000.” 

"20, 000."

“Wait, wait, wait.” Mina said, holding up her index fingers at both of their faces. “What’s with you two always arguing about stuff. Is this about your rivalry? Do you even like Yaomomo?’ She said, riled up.

“Mina, even I can see he’s in love with her. He’s been since forever,” Jirou burst out, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “so stop asking.”

Mina raised an eyebrow, staying calm. That was not normal, Shouto thought.

“Then why is it such a problem for you?’

Jirou sighed exhausted. “Because I’m in love. With Yaoyorozu,” she said. Why did that make him so disappointed, he wondered. Everyone gasped at the revelation.  _ No one  _ saw it coming.

“And I don’t know. I think I’m-I’m…” she trailed off. Mina gave her a knowing look.

“In love with Todoroki?’ She asked. 

“Mina!’ Jirou glared. But he didn’t really notice anything after Mina said that.

It felt so natural like it made perfect sense. She was in love with him? Even though what he felt for Yaoyorozu and Jirou were different, they both felt like love. The romantic type.

Could you even love two people? Was he being sinful and shallow and greedy?

But he didn’t want their bodies-it was just a bonus that he couldn’t take his eyes off the two girls-he was  _ in love with everything about them. _

“-roki. Todoroki!’ Someone shouted right into his ear.

“K-kaminari.”

Something zipped past his past and jabbed at Kaminari’s forehead. “ouch,” he muttered.

“Stop-stop bothering him,” Jirou said, blushing and looking away when he looked at her. The action almost made him smile; he loved her confidence, but she was pretty cute when she was being shy.

“Jirou’s in loveee with our resident hottieeeee,” Mina crowed, giggling.

She was skillfully dodging Jirou’s earjacks. “Stop it,” Jirou wailed.

“I don’t mind,” he said. Was that the wrong thing to say? Everyone froze. He could see Kirishima and most of his classmates stifling their giggles.

“Oh.” Jirou said, twirling a lock of hair shyly. “Um.”

“Come on, you two. Just make out or something already,” Kirishima sighed dramatically.

“Make out?’ Shouto questioned, puzzled.

“Kiss.” Mina wiggled her eyebrows. “You want to kiss her?'

He thought about it seriously. “That...would be nice.” he blushed.

Now that he’d said it, it sounded a lot more embarrassing.

Jirou covered her face in embarrassment, too.

“Oh, wow. Jirou, you were right. We should’ve been betting on when  _ you  _ and Todoroki will get together.” Toru giggled.

“But.” he paused. “I love Yaoyorozu.”

He heard a gasp. He turned around just in time to see Yaoyorozu standing there, gaping at him, crimson.

“Oh? Things just got interesting,” Sero smirked. 

He hadn’t realised she was there. 

\----------

_ this is a mess,  _ Kyoka thought, wishing that a hole would open up and swallow her. Preferably,  _ right now. _

Todoroki wanted to kiss her, big deal. He’d literally just confessed his love for Yaoyorozu. They’d get together, she’d have to move on from  _ both  _ of them.

“U-um,” Yaoyorozu stuttered, stumbling over her words. Kyoka’s heart clenched. Why did both of them have to be so beautiful? Why was her heart so greedy?

“I, um, love you, too. Since l-last year,” Yaoyorozu admitted. Everyone cheered, but Kyoka’s heart sank lower and lower, into her stomach. She felt sick.

“But, that’s not being completely honest,” Yaoyorouzu scratched her cheeks, looking guilty. “I...I think I’m in love with Kyoka. I don’t-I don’t know why I’m like this, and you must hate me, but-”

She felt hope bloom in her chest and interrupted before she even knew what she was saying,

“I love you, too. You and Todoroki.  _ Both  _ of you.” She heard multiple gasps and saw lida, Midoriya and Ochako entering, seeming astounded at the confession she’d hurled their way as soon as they entered the classroom.

“I’ve been in love with you for a long time, you were so beautiful and elegant, but I only realised when I nearly lost you. I couldn’t imagine life without you and I just-I just  _ knew.  _ But then Todoroki came into the picture and I got jealous, but as time went by, I started to like spending time with him, too. And I didn’t know what was going on in my head, and I didn’t wanna admit I  _ loved  _ being him so, so much. But by then, I wasn’t jealous, I felt  _ sad.  _ I loved you both and wanted you both and the thought was disgusting to me, but you two were perfect for each other and I just didn’t fit in.” She ranted, breathless, feeling tears prick at her eyes.

\---------

Yaoyorozu wasn’t sure when it had started. Shouto and Kyoka were so kind to her, and a ridiculous thought had been invading her mind for a while. Starting with that ruler incident, she felt like their fights revolved around her.

Like they were fighting  _ for  _ her. It was too much to hope for. Ever since she’d come to terms with the fact that she not only loved Shouto, but Kyoka, too, she knew she’d been hallucinating. Seeing things she wanted to see, but would obviously never happen.

It was impossible for them to be polyamorous, right? Wasn’t Kyoka straight, anyway? 

The thought was heavy.

\--------

Shouto had never been so happy in his life.

When he was a kid, he had a very simple and pure notion of love. It’d been distorted by his father’s abuse and his mother’s mental stability deteriorating, of course, but he was pretty sure that he-or anyone in his family-had never imagined that he’d have  _ two  _ girlfriends.

And they were the most beautiful, powerful, intelligent, funny, witty and just the absolute best. Although, he still liked competing with Kyoka. It’d become almost a habit.

The relationship wasn’t the most ideal-to outside view, probably, although he was perfectly satisfied with it. His father would probably think he was being productive, though, and the thought was bitter-tasting-but it worked well in a way that no one, even they themselves, expected it would.

  
  
  
Their classmates were extremely supportive. Even Mineta congratulated their relationship, even if it was grudgingly.  
  
  
  
He was the luckiest man alive, he thought.


	3. Lucy/Natsu (END--if you squint)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst :)
> 
> also the whole "voice in my head" is a side effect of natsu being END (END's in his head, zeref's a little in his head, too)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can natsu burn himself?

Natsu's face paled when the crash sounded. Lucy, on the ground, stared up at him with wide eyes.

Happy looked hurt, too.

He swallowed, backpedalling. "I-I didn't mean to!' He defended himself.

Gray offered a hand to Lucy, sending a nasty look his way. "You should apologise,"

Natsu's mouth was dry. He wouldn't-- _couldn't--_ look at Lucy. "I'm sorry. I-It really was an accident," 

**The ice mage is looking for a fight.**

Natsu couldn't stand the voice. "I-I have to go," He stammered, stumbling on his way out. The guild watched the spot where Natsu had grabbed Lucy and thrown her to the ground. 

They all collectively forgave him. Their beloved Natsu would never do such a thing on purpose. 

If only, they'd known back then, that it would be the beginning of a horrifying, endless nightmare for their resident blonde and her salmon-haired best friend.

* * *

Natsu hadn't come out for a week. People had checked on him, but Happy had told them he didn't want to see anyone. Everyone respected his wishes, except for one mage. She couldn't...

If he was hurt, she wished he'd tell her, because that's what friends were for. She sighed wistfully. Just then, the door swung open. Lucy whipped around, hopeful.

"Natsu!' She cried happily. She reached a hand for him. 

He smiled. "Hey,"

After having known him for so long, she could tell it didn't reach his eyes. "Is everything okay?'

His smile fell, growing fainter. "Yes."

The answer was so short and vague that it was completely unlike him. Before she could ask, he turned to the mission board.

"Let's go on a job, Lucy." He commanded.

She was too happy to have her friend back to care. 

...

The mission was simple. Catch a bunch of thieves who'd stolen from Duke Earl's estate. The thieves had come during the night, and Lucy was able to figure out if the thieves had taken the train to a different town.

Knowing they hadn't and were still within the town, they'd asked if anyone had seen the suspicious individuals. The criminals were clearly not very clever; neither was the duke if they'd managed to steal from him. 

Either way, their tracks led them to the forest. Here, Natsu could destroy as much as he wanted. Lucy was more than astonished that he didn't. He refrained from damaging too much.

He was so disinterested, in fact, that he was simply scaring them off than even attacking half of them, only focused on capturing them.

They were given the full reward, for once. But that no longer mattered.

Lucy hated seeing her best friend so gloomy. So, she summed up her courage to ask as they were walking back from the train station to the guild.

"Natsu?'

"Hm?'

"You know, if you're trying to hide your sadness, you're not doing a very good job, right?'

He stopped. Lucy, who was walking behind him, stopped, too.

"You're my best friend, Lucy. But if you wanted me to give you space, I would," he turned around. Lucy shrunk when she saw his furious eyes. He'd never been so angry at her, before. "So, stop prying into my life."

"No." she whispered. "You're not-you're not even acting like Natsu, anymore," she whimpered. "What the hell is wrong with you?'

He didn't bother with a reply, resuming his walk to the guild.

Once Lucy had informed her friends of the mission, Erza and Gray congratulated them both on the legendary feat, but Lucy was quick to inform them of Natsu's unusual behaviour. Erza and Gray tried to grill him on it, but he only got more agitated at the questions they threw.

Lucy regretted letting him leave the guild, letting him go home, more than anything.

It wasn't what had set everything in motion, but...

if she'd pushed harder, maybe all the things that followed never would have happened.

* * *

Weeks had turned into months. The guild was getting used to it, save for a celestial mage.

Because Natsu's absence shouldn't be _normal._ It shouldn't be brushed off.

In the end, though, she couldn't blame her guildmates and friends, either, because Natsu brushed them off just as easily.

He'd turned into this hothead--he already was one--but he couldn't stand the sight of Gray or Erza, and pushed her away too.

The door opened. Lucy swung around on her chair, to meet his onyx eyes.

He sent a nod her way. "Natsu," she called.

His eyes darkened in warning. She wasn't going to question him anymore, but...

she would never, ever give up on him. Of that much, she was certain. She'd only very rarely felt so strongly about something.

"Let's go on a mission."

These days, Natsu only ever showed up if there wasn't enough money to feed himself or Happy.

Happy was the only one who knew what was wrong; at least, that's what the guild assumed, as they hadn't seen the cheerful, blue cat in months, either.

He stared at her blankly. "No."

"Why not?' Lucy was quick to shoot, grabbing him by the wrist before he could leave. They were standing by the mission board, so she grabbed a random mission off of it.

She pulled it in front of his face, "this one. Let's go."

His lips twisted into a sinister sneer, "who are you to order me around?'

Lucy stepped back, gaze wary.

She was scared of what he was becoming but, "if you're trying to scare me, I won't be." she admitted. "even if I wanted to be, you don't scare me. And you never will."

He raised a doubtful eyebrow, "is that so?' his voice had gone darker, but she wasn't scared. 

"Natsu, you can burn me to a crisp, if you want. I'm not scared to die." She said, fiercely. "If I were, I would never have stayed in Fairy Tail."

She took a breath, "But I am scared of losing you."

He flinched. "I can't do this-"

"Why won't you just tell anyone what's wrong?' She asked, shakily. "You don't have to be happy all the time. No one will judge you of being _human."_

He chuckled, hollowly. "No, I'm not." He raised his eyes to her, taking a step away like being near her was stifling. "Don't you get it, Lucy?'

He was getting away. She began to reach for him, but something was holding her in place.

"You _are_ scared. Not of me. But of something worse. Something you know exists. We both know it exists."

"When you grabbed me," he continued. "all I could think about was how frail your hand was, how I could crush it. All those veins in her arm. How I could rip you apart. How..." he seemed to choke on the words.

"...how what, Natsu?' she asked, knowing she was treading dangerous territory now. 

"How I wanted you as mine. How I wanted to hide you from the world. To kill you? Or to devour you?' He smiled, so heartbroken by his own twisted words.

Lucy wanted to hold him and comfort him. Tell him he would never think such a thing, tell him she wanted him for herself too, if her fluttering heart was anything to go by.

Tell him it was okay.

She was paralysed.

"I'm turning into a monster. I'm not worth loving anymore." His body distorted, tears blurring her world. "I'm thankful you want me, still. Enough to come to guild this early. Enough to talk to me alone."

He waved his hand around, motioning at the empty guild.

"But, I'm going to spend my days by myself. I can't afford to let you close, anymore,"

Goosebumps covered her skin, tears falling down her cheeks. 

_"No..."_ She gasped. "Natsu, don't leave."

"I don't need anyone. You don't need me." He smiled, his eyes glistening. 

"I love you," she whispered, desperate to make him see how much he meant to her.

"Well, _stop."_ He hissed, gripping her scarf tightly. "I can't-it hurts, Lucy. You're hurting me."

"Why?!' Lucy cried, voice breaking. "Why're you leaving me, too?'

"Because I can't deal with this voice, anymore. I refuse to hurt you. I love you too much to do that. It'd break me," His voice dropped low.

"You _are_ hurting me. I don't-you were the one who brought me into this world where I was happy. And now you're leaving? We can find a way, Natsu. Please..."

She ran towards him. Maybe she could force him to stay, to knock some sense into that stupid brain of his.

**That dumb bitch**

_Mm, stay with her, Natsuuu, if you leave, some other guy will take her_

**Kill her. Use your fucking flames. Don't let her disgusting hands near you**

Natsu's body shot a flaming circle in between himself and her on instinct.

Lucy leaped back, gasping. "Natsu! No!'

He stared longingly at the guild. He lit his fist on fire, shakingly lifting it to his shoulder.

Lucy's heart clenched with horror. " _please,"_ she begged, dropping to her knees.

She shook her head wildly. "No, no, no. Natsu, don't-"

Her words got stuck on her tongue as she watched him burn his guild mark away. He resisted the sting of the pain, the taste of the burn. It almost felt exhilarating, like coming alive after all these months of being half-alive.

He smiled sorrowfully because nothing hurt more than leaving, not even the burn of his own power. "I know I have no right to request anything of you, but please take care of Happy."

He pulled the letter out of his pocket. Truthfully, he'd never come to guild to pick a job. He'd come to say good bye. 

He threw it into the fire, hoping it'd burn.

Telling her he loved her was like rubbing salt into her wounds. He couldn't show her the letter; he was too cowardly for that.

His eyes widened when she jumped into the fire to catch, cradling the half burnt letter and her own burnt hands in her lap. She raised those glowing eyes to him, swollen and--

he swallowed. 

"I love you, Natsu." she said, her lips quirking upward in the saddest smile he'd ever seen.

_I love you, too. I love you so much I want to kill anyone who even dares to look your way. I hate Gray. I hate Erza. All because of you._

**Kill her. I want to pull out your eyesockets and rip your limbs from your body or burn that pretty face of yours**

He pulled away. He didn't look back that morning. He walked away.

The guild found their floorboard burnt, though Lucy'd put the fire out. Her own hands were burnt, but she was sitting at a table, head covered by her arms.

She hadn't looked up.

It took them a while to peel her off of the table, but her eyes had glazed over like she was staring at something they couldn't see.

Natsu never returned to the guild after that day, and Lucy took Happy instead.

She'd still never minded giving her heart away to him, even if it ruined her for the rest of the world.

Even when he was forgotten, she and Happy remembered the boy who'd shown them the world, shown them the wonders they wouldn't have seen otherwise.

And the man Lucy loved with all her heart.


	4. Ochako/Eijirou (ft. Izuku/Katsuki) (and Izuku/Ochako, Eijirou/Katsuki)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just two lovers loving and having their hearts broken (i want to write angst so bad but it's so, so hard to do when I'm also trying to make it romantic oefhfggg)
> 
> this is a bit like 'scum's wish' (the anime) but ahhhh i just realised that so no, it wasn't inspired from that or anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything. 
> 
> i guess the POV shifts from kiri to ocha, and you'll know it but I won't TELL YOU it's happened. (for example, the way they refer to people would change once the POV changes)
> 
> anyways there are other ships not mentioned in the title because uhm *too crowded*
> 
> kamijirou  
> momolida  
> ojiro/toru

Katsuki was invincible. Eijirou smiled, patting him on the back and handing him a towel.

His mood soured when Izuku came to see his _boyfriend._

Eijirou was bitter. He was only human.

The door opened again and he should've been happy to see Ochako. She was his own girlfriend, but the way it never bothered Katsuki always stung him where it hurt most. 

She paused for a second, her eyes drifting to the curly-haired boy she was so in love with. She smiled brightly, eyes lighting up.

He wished he could be happy _for_ Katsuki.

But how could he be happy for others, when he couldn't be happy for himself? Don't they always say, put yourself first?

That never stopped the guilt.

She continued walking, pecking him on the cheek and taking the bottle from his hand, turning around to hand it to Izuku.

"You boys working hard?' She teased.

Katsuki scoffed, and his gruff voice sent shivers down his body. How traitorous, he thought, so used to it.

"Well. Eijirou promised me a date," Ochako winked. 

He wanted to stay. He hated this. She gripped his arm, pulling him along. Her grip was tight, palms turning pale but he barely felt it, numb to any pain besides the one that came from the blond-haired boy.

Ochako huffed. "I hate seeing them together so much." 

Eijirou glanced down at her. Huh. She could be selfish. "Me, too."

Ochako gave a chuckle. It didn't come out as light-hearted as he was sure she was hoping it would, sounding slightly strained and hollow and broken. 

Everything she was. Everything _they_ were.

"Where are we going?'

"Is my room okay?' She asked, unsure if he'd like that.

Eijirou shrugged. "It's not like,"

"we're actually dating," she finished, agreeing. "Right. Sometimes, I wonder why we do this to ourselves,"

He'd never heard a statement more true. But, they'd keep the facade up.

Because in the end, they were both people-pleaser. People-pleasers and heartbroken didn't go well together and unless there was some physical proof that they had confessed, gotten rejected, had their hearts broken and moved on, nobody would believe they were okay.

And they weren't. 

This was wrong, but this kind of pain, they had no idea how to deal with.

She opened her dorm room's door as they reached it, flopping onto her bed with a long-suffering sigh.

He plopped down to the beanbag she'd recently brought. Somehow he'd managed to convince her to buy something for _herself._

He regretted wanting to sit on the beanbag, because it was by the window and he hadn't wanted to see Katsuki kissing Izuku. Pushing him up against a tree, gripping him tightly and bruising his lips with a violent, _passionate_ kiss.

And then they were making out and he ripped his eyes from the scene, because he didn't need any more reminders that it wasn't _Eijirou_ Katsuki was doing all those things to, but Izuku.

Izuku had never been his rival for Katsuki's love. Katsuki had hated Izuku. It seems Ochako was thinking the same thing, having seen the couple, too.

"Bakugo wasn't my rival," Ochako's voice cut in, she gave a shaky laugh, "God, I was so stupid. How did I miss the signs?'

"I don't know," Eijirou whispered, wondering the same thing. He turned around, and she had the same look in her eyes.

They were both selfish, and it wasn't just the fact that they didn't want others to remind them they were shattered, but also because they needed warmth.

She took a step towards him, and he did the same, meeting her in the middle.

They didn't need to whisper sweet nothings into each other's ears or comfort the other. He wanted to kiss her, and she wanted the same. That was all.

Her lips moved against his. His were rough--maybe a side effect of his quirk because everything about him was rough, hard around the edges--but it was okay because _god she wanted someone to not be delicate with her._

Someone else in his place wouldn't have understood, would have stopped her.

"Hey, you're not alright. You're not thinking straight," - they'd have said.

But, fuck, she was _fine_ with thinking sideways or whichever way you think when you're not thinking _straight._

His hands gripped her hair, pulling her closer. More, he muttered against her mouth and she melted in his arms the way she'd always wanted to in Deku's.

He separated for air. And then he was crying because so was she.

"What are we doing to ourselves?' She asked again, slamming her fist against the wall. 

"Fuck." Eijirou growled, his eyes blurring. "I-I'm supposed to be stronger."

Ochako laughed so hard she was clutching her sides. The laughter was a pathetic sound, a mix between sobbing and maniac laughter.

"We're supposed to put each other back together, _fix_ what's broken, not..not-" she hiccuped.

She needed to get out of there, it was stifling.

...

"I'll buy you lunch," Eijirou whispered in her ear, his breath tickling her skin.

How long was this act going to last, she wondered. Truthfully, maybe Izuku would marry Katsuki, and they'd do the same to show they were really fucking happy with each other, too.

It'd been months since _this_ had started, and they'd figured it wasn't for show anymore. The thought that maybe he didn't want to let go of her, the same way she didn't want to let go of him, made her heart flutter.

It wasn't the same light, pure flutter Izuku often caused her heart to do, but she'd known for a while now that the feeling was the same. At one point, she'd fallen for the red-haired boy who'd taken care of her when no one even knew she was hurting.

She had a thing for falling for boys who'd never love her. Oh, and boys who loved Katsuki.

She wished she hated Katsuki, but he wasn't _cruel._

Not to her.

"Here." _He_ interrupted her thoughts, bringing her mochi. She faked a gasp, 

"I had no idea you could buy mochi at the school cafe,"

He gave her a pointed stare. He couldn't help but admit, though, it was refreshing to see her be playful after all these dark months. "Maybe if you actually ate during break, you'd know."

She poked her tongue out. 

...

They'd teamed up, because that's what everyone was expecting. After all, Izuku and Katsuki had teamed up, Yaomomo had teamed up with Tenya and even Hagakure and Mashirao were together. All the couples.

It should've been obvious. Not to mention the fact that it felt weird for him to _not_ be with her anymore.

They'd been so invested in making it look like they were in love that it _should've been obvious._

He was deeply smitten with her while she loved another man.

His crushes always had a thing for Izuku, he thought bitterly, even while knowing he'd never hate the emerald-eyed boy himself because...

Izuku didn't know.

Of course, he didn't,

He didn't think he was exactly everything Eijirou wanted to be.

...

Ochako clenched and unclenched her fist, the weight of love was too much. 

Eijirou knew that. She knew what was coming when she'd walked in and saw Eijirou seeming really serious.

His text last night was pretty clear.

"Ocha-Uraraka,"

she cringed internally. 

Their classmates stopped their conversations to stare, confused at the way they talked to each other, so formally--the first name thing was a no-go, now. The way that it'd bring their attention back to everything they'd been would only hurt them more and honestly, weren't they already too depressed for that?

"Let's break up," He smiled. Oh, wow. She felt her own lips twist into something similar. Tears stung her eyes so she curled her toes and focused on _that._

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the fuck?' Ashido butted in, unable to process that one of, perhaps _the_ most, lovey-dovey couple, who'd been dating all of the second and third year suddenly, and in a painfully casual manner, wanted to break up.

Eijirou shrugged, and she saw him hide his hand because he couldn't stop their shaking.

And she noticed though no one else did because she was used to this and she remembered exactly why neither of them were yelling or crying or begging for sorry like they should be, like they wanted to be.

Because they hadn't spent two years dating; no they'd spent two years faking and they were pros now.

"I guess we tried but never fell in love," she choked back the ironic laughter bubbling in her throat, "we're better off as friends."

"Don't you think so?' she asked Eijirou. She thought he'd be smiling, pretending more because why stop now?

He was serious. "No. I love you more than anything but you love _him."_

She whipped her head between him and the even more confused class. This wasn't normal, this wasn't part of the plan.

This wasn't something she was used to.

"Wait," Hagakure paused. "You mean..."

"Deku?' Katsuki grunted. "I should've known from the beginning. Of-fucking-course you spend two years pulling shit like this. Stupid shitty hair's too nice to say no, I bet,"

Ochako slumped. Maybe they weren't _pros_ just yet. Deku furrowed his eyebrows, opening his mouth to

what? apologise when it wasn't _his_ fault she fell into such an obsessive--toxic--adoration--the kind that was agonising and left her with an aching heart twenty-four-seven--for him. 

"So? You wouldn't understand," Eijirou interrupted. "Even if--even if you'd lost Izuku, you'd move on because you're-you're fucking perfect. You're beautiful and strong and smart and we're _not._ Without you, we've got nothing so what did you _want_ us to do? We're just..."

The class gasped, collectively. 

"What?' Katsuki questioned, puzzled for the first time. 

"You didn't know," Ochako chuckled--was she pouring salt in her wounds ( _it stung)_ was it Eijirou? Maybe Katsuki, or Deku. Worse, maybe it wasn't salt but the sting just never faded. "That's funny."

"What?' Katsuki barked, agitated already.

"That Eijirou," she sniffled. Her heart throbbed in raw pain, because there was no hiding it now. "has loved you since the day he saw you, just like I've loved Deku,"

"And neither of you would understand. You--" Eijirou shuddered. "You aren't afraid of being alone the way we are."

Ochako knew exactly what he was talking about. They'd talked about their unrequited love, but they'd both always been too afraid to dig deeper, to cut open old scars.

But she _knew_ because she felt the same. So though this wasn't anything she'd ever heard him talk about, she knew exactly what to say.

"If you were in our place, you'd go with your daily lives. You don't know how worthless it makes us feel. You know, Deku, what it's like to not be enough when it comes to being a hero, but you could never understand that for people like us, who try their best to make others like them, to please all the wrong people every time, to put on a show when we're not okay, what kind of doubts or insecurities _we_ deal with. We could never understand your pain, but for all your heroism, you could never understand ours, either!' Ochako snarled. 

This had been a long time coming.

Huh.

....

After their confession, they'd parted ways. Eijirou with Denki and Ashido, and she with Tsu and Tenya. That's how they spent their next few weeks. Unable to really talk to their best friends--that was mutual, at least--and unable to face each other, either. 

Though Ochako should've known Deku would eventually try and work things out. That was fine, though, since now her heart didn't hurt because of _him._

Wow. She only loved someone when she was going to lose them.

Though they'd admitted being in love with each other, how could they be together when they'd fucked each other up just as bad as their previous flames did?

The class understood, tiptoeing around them sometimes even near the end of their final year. But, with their old friends and no more secrets between them, the distance they'd created had evaporated.

Maybe they'd been wrong. Seeing Izuku and Katsuki both make a conscious effort to not be lovey-dovey was funny, even when the emotion itself made her feel empty and malicious.

...

"Pro hero Uravity has been called for backup!' A woman panted into her earpiece.

Eijirou's confidence vanished almost instantly. The pro-hero (sidekick) froze in surprised.

It'd been two years, after all, and they'd both been hard at work to become pro-heroes. He'd run into her sometimes and they'd be polite and formal, but he always left quickly knowing it was a sore spot for both of them.

And the fact that she looked more beautiful and incredible each time he saw her and his heart couldn't take that.

A crime scene wasn't one of those times. He couldn't just go, "oh, nevermind, my ex is here so I need to go to the bathroom"

One of the slug-like villains shot...mud?, at him. He pulled his arm up, using his elbow to block it and instead of running away, run towards the villain.

Whatever liquid-like thing was thrown at him was obviously meant to be more dangerous than it looked because the villain looked astonished.

Ha. He'd mastered his unbreakable and reached a stage where he could withstand Izuku's punches at fifty percent, not to mention Ashido's acid which could even burn through Tetsutetsu's skin at his strongest if she wanted.

And considering Izuku was now number one, that said a lot. A puny villain was nothing in comparison, strong quirk or no. Still puny.

But he was outnumbered and no matter how powerful, his quirk wasn't offensive. It's just,

why her? Why did it have to be her?

"Uravity here!' Came a cry as she floated a villain right behind him. 

"Hey, Kiri," She said, smiling a silly smile. His heart skipped a beat.

He's pretty sure it stopped for a minute there. "...hey, Och-Uraraka." He stammered.

He blinked twice before realising he'd been staring. Of course, even he knew he only realised he was doing so when he saw her cheeks turn red. Ochako averted her eyes, flustered.

The thought that he still affected her gave him more confidence, though.

"Oi," He grinned widely. "Hope you haven't forgotten my fighting style,"

Because she knew things about him--knew _him,_ even better than Katsuki did. She'd watched him, she'd seen him the way no one else ever bothered to.

She'd thought there was something worth looking at, so she knew exactly what he meant.

Back to back, they became each other's eyes where the other couldn't see and finished the fight within a few minutes.

"No one knows we're unbeatable together," Ochako beamed at him, wiping dust from her face as she dropped an unconscious villainess to the ground, tying her up with the rest.

"But...?' he egged her on, knowing she had more to say.

She stared up at him, brown eyes full of forgiveness and longing. "But. They will."

"That a promise?' he asked, jokingly, only to stop when she looked him dead in the eye,

"Yes, Ki-no, Eijirou. I swear. Nobody will see it coming. I promise."

He hoped it was a promise she'd keep.


	5. Camie/Shouto (ft. Camie/Inasa, Shouto/Izuku)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know what this was
> 
> i'm sorry if it wasn't satisfactory :( (I've only kinda just started to focus on angst and it's hard to think up an actual story line and also focus on a character's sadness)

It happened only when she realised why it hurt.

When she called Shouto hot, she thought that was it. That was all it was.

When she got his number, she felt giddy, but whether she expected more or not, it was a fling. It was a _fling._

When she texted him, it was cute that he was unsure how to respond. She carried their conversations. He was closed off.

Then she knew he liked cold soba. Because his mother made it when he was a child.

And then he called her just to ask why everyone acted weird whenever Midoriya and Uraraka interacted and she laughed for a full minute, her breath running short.

He asked her out. She was off the ground for a second, elated, flying. Then he followed up that text with 

_**I was dare to do that sorry. Hope you don't mind** _

_**dared*** _

And her world crashed. She told him it was fine because she was carefree, right? She should be teasing him. Why were her hands shaking? Everything was underwater and fuzzy and she couldn't quite focus on herself or anything. 

He asked if Uraraka and Midoriya were dating. She said no, but probably crushing on each other.

And then a few days later, he asked why it hurt and she could ask the same thing.

He was innocent, clueless. Had no idea what was going on in his own heart and own mind.

But he also knew the dark side. Why was he so strong?

Why was he so kind?

He soon realised he was _jealous._ Of Uraraka.

Because now he knew, he liked Midoriya.

And she knew, too. She liked Shouto, but it was a little late. She was a flirt. She seduced important guys all the time, and sometimes one would catch her actual interest, like Yoarashi, but it wasn't love.

She knew how to play men, not...

It was no wonder it took so long. She didn't like Seiji's look of pity. Why didn't he call her stupid like all the time? Why was he so quiet? She wasn't heartbroken. 

"Am I pretty, Rashi?'

Why? Why did Yoarashi spend his time telling her what she already knew? She was the hottest girl in their class. If she wasn't, she wouldn't have that many guys wrapped around her pinkie.

It was a phase, she convinced herself.

Shouto asked Midoriya out and he said yes. 

**_thank you, Camie. I wouldn't even know I felt this way without you._ **

**_Are you there?_ **

Why was life so automatic?

Get up. Check her phone. 

_Talk to me, Shouto. Tell me you made a mistake._

Why did she ask for his number that day? If they never talked, she'd be fine. Why did she ask him to meet up a few months ago? Why did that become normal?

He had an abusive father.

Was he sad? He was scared he'd become that man. She'd calmed him down.

When did "I'm so sorry" turn into "I'll murder your dad". When did sympathy turn into anger and sadness on his behalf?

When did seeing him cry split _her_ in half?

After all these thoughts crowding her mind, she'd force herself out of bed and get ready. Too much effort.

She was pretty.

She _was._

Even when she couldn't muster up the energy to try anymore. 

"Camie, you should see the counsellor. You're..."

Not okay?

"OMG, you need to take a chill pill."

She'd master faking it one day. When her voice stopped breaking, when she could say the script properly.

The script?

Then she'd go to class.

She'd half-listen and half-daydream. 

About his eyes. So pretty.

Blue. Like ice. Like water. Calm. Serious. Grey. Like him. 

Why didn't he care? Was he really so heartless?

Why did she still care?

Train. 

She liked it the most. She got to vent her anger. Run, till her breath _ran_ out.

Punch, till her knuckles hurt. She wanted to feel it. Go back to normal, when Seiji calling her dumb stung. When she got offended. When her heart never fluttered every time Shouto called or texted her, concerned at her silence.

When he had no reason to be concerned.

Her first and second years had been wonderful, but the third was a blur.

At one point, it didn't quite hurt.

Did it?

Maybe it did. But she underwater.

It was cold and numb underwater. She'd been cold for too long.

**_Want to meet up? I haven't seen you for a while._ **

**_Izuku wants to meet you. He heard you assisted me in asking him out. He's grateful._ **

She wanted to scream. 

**_okay, where?_ **

.........

He wasn't obvious, but he slipped in little touches like he couldn't resist himself.

She'd probably be the same. Imagining him being that way with her set her heart on fire. 

A little too hot. Was it burning? Was it turning to ashes now?

Maybe he used his quirk. 

"Hi," he gave a small smile. "Yoarashi isn't with you?'

Camie shrugged. "He said he'll join us later."

She just had to focus. Being with Shouto felt so painfully good that she was coming back alive.

She didn't want to stay there.

"How's life been? We're almost about to graduate."

Funny, how Shouto was the one carrying their conversations, these days.

"Sorry, Sho, I was-" 

His eyes were emerald. Like envy.

How ironic, she thought.

"Oh! You're Camie! I mean, the real Camie," he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, stammering on nervously.

"Hi. Midoriya Izuku, right?' she didn't smile. 

_go up mouth. one smile, just one_

She was frozen. Shouto's quirk again?

"Um.." Midoriya was at a loss. She didn't look all that welcoming.

"Is everything okay, Camie?' Shouto furrowed his eyebrows.

She swallowed. Blood was rushing to her cheeks again, her face warm. Again.

Coming back to life sucked.

"Yes-Yeah. I'm good," she threw a thumbs-up his way. How she had the energy to do so was something she herself was unsure about. Not when she could drop dead at Shouto's feet.

No, that didn't sound terrible at all. Maybe she could beg for forgiveness for hating Midoriya when the boy had done nothing wrong to her.

......

Yoarashi showed up half-an-hour later. He shook his head and sighed tiredly at the awkward silence when he showed up.

"Hey, Came. Shouto, Izuku."

Camie felt slightly betrayed Yoarashi was on a first-name basis with Midoriya.

"'sup, Rashi," she still mustered an upward twist of her lips. The fire in her chest was slowly burning out. 

Which probably described the past year perfectly. Which was a depressing thought, the exact kind Yoarashi wanted to eliminate.

They will never go away. That was a scary notion.

Shouto shot her another worried look, and when he took Yoarashi aside to speak to him in a hushed voice, she had not a doubt that it was about her behaviour.

Goddamnit, she was trying. Her own body was a traitor.

"So, um...you're, uh, not very talkative," Midoriya said, easing into another bright smile at her as if it'd suddenly turn her back to normal.

"Soz, I'm tired." She still had to stick to the script.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to get out of there.

Shouto was scowling when he came back, and the knife in her chest twisted.

Toga stabbed her once. It hurt a lot.

That seemed like a butterfly's kiss in comparison now, though. 

"Rashi, how long are you gonna stay?' She called. 

"An hour or two." He replied. "Why?'

"I've actually got an appointment so I can't stay," she lied, picking her purse. "It's been fun, y'all."

Yoarashi crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her, "appointment with who?'

Why was he being so difficult? Didn't he understand how hard it was for her to be there?

"I've got a date," she said. She hadn't gone on a date all year. But, hey, maybe by saying this he'll believe she'd okay. It was a plus in her book.

"Really?' Yoarashi asked, eyebrows sky-high.

"Yep." she added a little cheer to it.

"Aye. Don't let me stop you, then! Have fun! Be safe!' he yelled encouragements after her.

By the time, she'd reached the nearby park, she was numb again.

....

She went back to their dorms (which had been introduced first year ever since they realised Toga snuck into the license exams. Precautions--and the fact that U.A was doing it, too).

How much time passed by? She had no idea. All she knew was, she fell into a restless nap and was woken by Yaorashi's loud voice.

"You liar." He hissed, slamming her door open.

She twisted her body. 

"What was I supposed to do?' she asked. There was no better question.

What was she supposed to do? Too bad no one could answer it. 

At least not an answer that didn't hurt.

His body sagged with defeat and sadness at her question because he knew it, too.

"Seiji said you came here straight after."

"No. I went to the swing at the park nearby. I waited until I didn't feel like crying anymore." Camie answered.

Yoarashi took a deep breath, "I actually told Shouto that-"

Her phone rung. 

"It's Shouto," she murmured, swallowing hard.

"Pick it up, then." She felt her bed sink as Yoarashi joined her on it.

"I have a bad feeling about this."

"Probably because I told him everything."

Her phone stopped ringing for a second. Then it rung again.

Her heart dropped.

"He threatened to come by and see you himself if you didn't talk to him," Yoarashi said, his voice half smug half apologetic.

"Don't talk to me, you traitor." She tapped the green button with, dreading it more than anything.

_"Camie?'_

His voice was deep.

"Yeah. It's me." She said, quietly. Softly. Scared, she was terrified.

_"I want to know why you didn't tell me,"_

"Because you liked Midoriya," why was she sniffling.

Why were her cheeks wet.

Yoarashi took a shaky breath beside her. "Do you want me to leave?' he whispered to her and suddenly

yes. She wanted him to go away. 

She nodded and he complied, his exit drowned out by Shouto's voice.

_"But it must've hurt to keep it in."_

"It doesn't matter."

She didn't matter. _Shouto_ mattered.

_"Of course it does, Camie. I was worried."_

"Why? You like Midoriya. Why don't you go worry about your _boyfriend?'_ she snarled, bitter.

_"He's not the one who needed me. You helped me even when it must've felt awful for you. I'm sorry."_

"It's not your fault," she said. 

Was she sobbing?

Sound was muffled.

Why did the numbness go away whenever Shouto was there? Whenever she talked to him, it was like a spell--a blessing--had lifted.

_"I should have seen the signs. I hurt you. I'm sorry."_

Was he crying, too?

Why did he care so much when he didn't even love her.

"I hate you," she whispered. "I hate Midoriya."

She _was_ crying.

Ugly, salty, _wet_ tears.

They stained her cheeks with sadness.

_"I'm sorry."_

She was, too.

But she'd fallen for the right guy. There was no one better than him to be her first love, her first heartbreak.

......

They were getting married in a few days. Shouto was unsure if she'd like to come, but she wanted to. Really, she was happy for them.

When she'd told her counsellor that it hurt more than it used to, her counsellor told her it was normal.

She never understood why but now, three years later with being a hero her priority, she did.

It still ached a little, like a scar from long ago.

But smiling wasn't a chore.

The spell had never been a blessing, the numbness wasn't a shield. It was a disguised curse and she'd just been too stupid to realise.

Even when she couldn't stop crying that night when Shouto called her, or the day after. Even when she didn't go to class.

Even when it felt like there was a hole next to her, in her life, where she wanted Shouto to be. He didn't belong there.

Even when she felt like Shouto had made it worse.

She made it through those rough times, and if she'd never let it out, she would be stuck in the same place, no doubt.

Moving on was the worst phase she'd ever had to go through, but it'd slowly gotten easier to breath.

She wondered why she'd ever thought being underwater was _good,_ when her lungs were starting to burst.

But it was all over now.

Even if her heart skipped a beat when she saw Shouto's tall figure in a formal suit, his hair brushed to the side.

And then he was kissing Izuku and promising his life to the green-haired hero and looking so happy that she wouldn't have thought it was physically possible to be that happy if she wasn't seeing it in person.

And knowing she couldn't have made him that happy, she knew she had never stood a chance, and it didn't matter so much anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this for [Catherine_Howard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catherine_Howard)


End file.
